No one enters a marriage knowing exactly how to be a perfect partner to their spouse; it’s a learning process for everyone.
Common Relationship Issues
Although every marriage is unique, there are some common relationship issues couples face.
Arguments about money aren’t really about money. Often, money disagreements can be about conflicting dreams for the future, or represent power dynamics or insecurities in your relationship which is merely disguised through arguments about spending or saving.
The paradox of today’s connected world is that we are in fact communicating less openly as we hide behind our smartphones and screens. It can often be a challenge for couples to talk in meaningful ways about the things they find important but this is a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.
Division of household chores
It’s often said women often take on the unpaid and emotional labor in marriages, but this isn’t the case in a healthy relationship. Both partners need to be happy with the way responsibilities are allocated in their home.
Signs Your Relationship Has Money Troubles
Surveys show that money is one of the biggest and often the biggest issue that couples fight about. Although it’s completely natural to have some disagreements over finances from time to time, you need to react before these issues threaten your relationship.
Different spending styles
A shopaholic personality combined with a ‘penny saved is a penny earned’ personality can be in a healthy relationship only if they put in the work to reconcile their differences. Both partners need to understand where is the other party coming from and be free of judgement.
Keeping secrets from each other
Financial infidelities such as hiding debt can have a lasting and detrimental impact on the health of a relationship. No matter how big or small, keeping secrets from each other is a red flag you’ve got some trust issues. Once broken, trust is very difficult to restore.
Feeling of imbalance
You don’t have to split bills 50/50 but both parties need to feel as though you’re contributing equally to running the overall household. Any sort of imbalance can lead to resentment.
Couples Finance Tips
There’s plenty of things you can do to avoid being part of scary statistics that says that
Treat family finances as a business matter
Schedule financial business meeting once a week. Even 10minutes can make a big difference in working together as a team in achieving your financial goals.
Put it all on the table
You need to be open and honest with each other which means full disclosure.
Build a budget
Start with just tracking your expenditures for two or three months to identify if you are living within your means. A budget will allow you to identify areas where you can spend less such as your utility bill by shopping and comparing ComEd companies with affordable rates.
Discuss your lifestyle choices and recognize your differences
Everyone’s money mindset is different. When opposites attract, you need to take this into account. Marriage is all about compromise. If one of you has more expensive taste, consider shopping at outlets to still get those name brands, just at a more affordable price. A problem doesn’t arise due to personality differences but when one of you neglects to hear the other’s input and respect it. Budgeting will help you remember that you are both on the same team so you can use your differences to become an even better and more united team.
Takeaway – Cultivating a solid marriage takes time and work. How you learn to manage life together can hep you build a strong and lasting foundation. Money is a big part of sharing a life with someone and if you can’t manage it together, it’s very hard to build a future together. If your goal is to build a marriage that’s not only durable but thriving, learning to navigate these issues successfully with your spouse can make the difference between a good marriage and a great one.